Super Sporadic Blogger Strikes Again!

I have to express this. I didn't want to put it on Facebook, it felt too personal. But this is my blog, so whatever. And I really don't want to do my music homework right now.

Yesterday was a really, really bad day. I got to school with an hour and a half in which I wanted to edit two articles for the Ag Comm newsletter, write an article for the same, and study for a test. I don't know why I didn't realize that I couldn't possibly do all those things in that short amount of time, but I am an idiot. I barely got my article written and the others edited. I did not study for the test.

I don't know my grade for that test, but I'm really hoping I didn't flat out fail. I'm a straight-A student and I am hoping to scrape by with a C. That's a horrible, awful feeling my friends. After the test I went outside to wait for my ride, sat down and placed the palm of my left hand right on top of a cactus sticker bush thingy I didn't see. Then I had to waste half an hour trying to get all the pricks out and it hurt like heck.

Then I rushed  to work for a few hours and to school. I'm preparing for my first article in my magazine class (DUE THURSDAY!) and it is falling apart. I had four interviews lined up at 3, 4, 5 and 6. My 4 o'clock bailed on me, which was annoying. Then my 6 o'clock bailed on me, which was a disaster. And all the while my sources aren't giving me the information I thought they would and now I have no subject for the article. 12 interviews in and no subject, I tell you. Worse than failing a test.

I decided to stay on campus. I had some leftover gnocchi that was pretty bland from lunch, and I thought I'd just eat that, go to the gym, and then go to Antics practice. Micah met me at the Food Court and said he was going to stay and work on things too, but he was hungry and was gonna buy food. He asked what I liked and I said I always get a bagel.

A few minutes later, he returns from the food court with the bagel, takes my gnocchi and says, "Here, I got this for you." I say, no that's yours, but he insists I have it. That was awesome.

Then I finally talked to my 6 o'clock and my professor, who didn't really help me feel better at all but scheduled a meeting for 3. Then I realized on my way to the gym that I have a work meeting at 3:30. And I had a meltdown.

Luckily, Antics practice went really well. (or I thought so, crossing my fingers?) and it cheered me right up. Micah had to go to work early this morning and left while I was in the shower. I went into the kitchen, still dreading everything I had to do today, and saw a bouquet of white roses on the table with a note from Micah saying he hoped they brighten my day a little bit.

Seriously, the BEST thing ever. I kinda treated him like crap yesterday because I was so stressed. Being married is so awesome though, because there's someone else to help you out when you just can't do anymore. I really love that dude!

Random Thoughts

Only Calvin reads my occasional postings.  And he comments rude things.

Tuesday night I made the WORST dinner ever.  Seriously, it was worse than the chocolate cole slaw smoothie incident.  It made me sick to my stomach for the rest of the night.  I'm usually pretty good at cooking, guess God needed to humble me.  Micah even threw it away.  He said that was so that I didn't see or smell it again and get sick.  It was really, really gross.

Today and tomorrow I am working on the following: My online portfolio (see it here when it's done!), JCOM scholarship, music class, scheduling my last semester of school ever.  EVER.

Wanting wanting wanting

I got married a few months ago (2, to be exact).  If you were expecting me to do some kinda post detailing the whole bizness, too bad.  You obviously don't understand how this sporadic blogging thing works.

Today sucks, for no particular reason.  I'm so tired of school.  My classes (sorry professors!) aren't doing it for me, I feel like everyday I have to remind myself that I just have to get through this for two more semesters and get my degree.  Today I'm totally overwhelmed with the amount of homework facing me and I just can't help daydreaming about when I won't ever have to do homework again!  I know that then I'll be tired and bored of being a mom or working or whatever...I should just be content with where I am and what I'm doing, I know that.  But I'm not right this second, I'm definitely wanting.

Whenever I feel like this I love to watch this music video.  Thanks to my peeps Danie and Greg for showing it to me.  I miss them very much.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYWdLundJzU

Freaking Out

My sister Rita accused me of not being appropriately freaked out for my wedding a week from today.  Well, I've been sitting at the airport gate for the last hour watching wedding videos of people I've never met and crying about them- does that count?

I just keep thinking about how incredibly lucky I am to get to marry my best friend.  When I was a kid I heard people say they married their best friend and I remember thinking, "Holy crap!  So many people got to do that, it's so cool!"  Then I realized that they meant that their husband was their best friend, but not necessarily that they had grown up together.  Well I think I can say that more truthfully.  I love it when people ask how we met and I get to say "we grew up together."  I always get an audible "aw, cute!"  Yeah, for reals.  We are so freaking cute.

I still can't believe how things have worked out and what a random time table things happened on.  All I can say is the Lord had VERY different plans for my life than I did.  And now that I can see them, at least a little bit, and see that they are awesome, I am learning to trust more.

It's funny when I think about last Christmas.  I was SO miserable.  I was debating going on a mission, running for National Office and getting married- and this was BEFORE Micah stopped writing me.  I tried on my sister-in-law's wedding dress and looked in the mirror.  I guess I thought if marriage was imminent for me I would look like a bride.  I just looked like a stupid little kid.  Little did I know that I was about to start my last year of single-dom.

I am on my home and I am so psyched, not only because I will be home, and because of Christmas, but because I'm also getting married!  Which makes both of those things even more great!  The two years Micah was gone on his mission were really hard for me.  But they were worth it.  I cannot find words to describe how wonderful my life is now.

And now I'm crying in the airport again.  This is really weird.

Remember how I always blog when I'm busy?

Funny stuff.

So here's an update.  10 freaking days until I get married.  Holy cow.  I'm packing and moving and studying and taking finals (or, I'm supposed to be doing that...) and I'm just really, really excited.  You would be too.  Have you seen my fiance?

Yowzer!  And that was taken two years ago!

So...yeah.  I'm not too into giveaways usually, but check this out.  Rachael is pretty awesome, even though I don't know her in real life.  And these books look awesome.  And call me materialistic, but I want them.

http://lovelylittlehenley.blogspot.com/

Okay.  I think I've wasted enough time now and should study for my Environment test... or look up stuff for my focus story.  Or make a powerpoint presentation.  Or...I'm going to stop listing.  It's making me depressed.

Rachel

This guy...

...is amazing.

In case you missed it, read this.

Giving up on National Office was one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make.  And I know I did the right thing, so I try not to be too sad about it.  But sometimes I remember, and that sucks.

Like when I get a package that was mailed a while ago, with a "Rayne Trained" t-shirt and a card wishing me luck at Nationals.

Or when someone says something about "My Plate" and my stomach drops and I think, "I have to look that up!" only to realize that I don't.

Or when someone announces at an Collegiate FFA meeting that I'm running for National Office, and I have to correct them in front of everyone.

Or when I find a giant stack on National Officer Candidate business cards in my purse.  When that one happened, I threw a few at Micah, saying, "I have no use for these anymore."

And you know what he did?  I do, cuz he told me the other day when I was having a hard time dealing with everything changing so fast.  He took my business card and put it in his wallet.  It was to remind him of the huge sacrifice that I made to be with him.

See why I think he's the greatest?  Seriously.

Ah, gee...

Question: "Shouldn't you be updating that other NOC blog that you said you would update but haven't touched all summer long?"

Answer: "I'm ticked off right now and I don't feel like it.  Shut your bazoo."

I've been working on sewing a dress all summer.  I sewed this exact dress (with a few minor changes) TWICE at Christmas time, so you'd think it really wouldn't be that hard, but for some reason I just cannot seem to figure it out and it's getting really annoying.  First it took me three tries to get the zipper in, then I sewed the interfacing on totally wack and it looks awful- I don't even know how to fix the closure of it.  And tonight, when I was ironing the hem on the sleeve, thinking optimistically that maybe I could finish it and wear it to church tomorrow, I completely incinerated it.  I'm sure I had enough leftover fabric for another tiny little sleeve, but I don't know where I put it, which probably means I threw it away.  So I'm stuck.  And I'm annoyed, because my little project for tonight is at a standstill.  Much like my life.

It's time to get back to Logan, I can feel it.  The fact that I still have to miss two more improv shows is killing me.  I need to get back, move in, get back on track, do school work.  Don't get me wrong, in two weeks I'll be whining that I don't want to leave but right now I'm anxious.

Some people want to know what drama is in my life, and to them my answer is, disappointingly, none.  Seriously, nothing's going anywhere, I'm just here, and that kinda sucks.  Other people apparently don't care to know, which kind of hurts.

I wish I could move on, but MAN!  I'm so annoyed that I burned that sleeve!